the past is the past for a reason...

...you can't move forward if you keep looking back.

Shout out to my four followers for reading my blog! :) An entry like this was coming a long time... might as well open up a little now.

The title and first line of this entry was my recent status message on a popular social network. Interestingly enough, a friend of mine commented on my status and this is what she said:


"Look at your life as if you are driving a car. Your windshield is BIG and FULL of your future. Like where you are going, and the things that are coming to you. Your rear view mirror is small and insignificant; it only gives you a glance of what is behind you... its your past... you've already been through it... It's Done! The only way it can catch up to you is if you put it in neutral, or reverse. Get in gear!"

Her response really hit me and made me think. If you keep dwelling on the past, there is no way you can be receptive of the future. Let go and let God. For those who know me and my history understand that I have had some good times, and also some really bad times when it comes to relationships. No need to go into all the details, because we have all had our share in some shape or form. I have been a heart breaker and have had my heart broken in return. Even though the pain is real and hurts every time, I still wouldn't trade any of it for all the gold in the world. Some may say I am crazy, but there is a method to my madness.

I have been blessed to meet an individual who is truly an amazing person. Never in my life did I think I could possibly get everything in a person that I have ever asked for. Someone who refuses to walk behind me or in front of me- but beside me and take on the world together. I wake up every morning constantly in fear that it is all a dream. And then like clock work I get a text or a call and on the other end is him. I have never really felt like this before, I almost don't know what to do with myself. How does he have the perfect answer to everything? How can I be silly, wear no make up, be in sweats and he still make me feel like I am the most beautiful person in the world? How can he be so forthcoming with his emotions and his intentions and reassure me that he is not like the others? Could this really be?

Never in my life did I think I could find someone, [of the opposite sex], that gets me. Someone who knows everything about me- and isn't running for the nearest exit. How could I possibly be so lucky? Slowly but surely he peels back all of my reservations, barriers, and walls, and is determined to get to my heart. He reassures me everyday that I can give him my heart and trust that he won't break it and in the same token, he is entrusting me with his- hoping that I won't do the same. In order for me to truly cherish and enjoy this amazing trip, I feel I had to experience all the bad. So would I do it all over again- the anguish, hurt, tears and pain- knowing that this was at the end of the tunnel? In two words- Hell Yes.

I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and in my heart. I am reminded every chance he gets of how special I am and how lucky he is. Little does he know, I am the lucky one. I thought I would be the one doing all the teaching and in fact, I am learning more from him than I could have ever imagined.

I know it has only been 25 days into this new year, but if I keep holding back, If I keep looking back, I will be missing out on all the good things that have yet to come. Side by side, hand in hand, I have been reassured that we are in this together. This is definitely worth the wait. There is a saying I got from one of TP's movies about the 80-20 rule. Basically it says that a person can only give you 80 percent of what you want, need and desire. That is all anyone has to offer. Someone who does all the things that you need and want in a partner. Far too often we leave our "80" for someone else thinking the grass is greener on the other side, a "20", only to learn that what we originally thought was a better choice, really wasn't. I feel I have found my 80 and I am going to do everything to hold on to this one. I have had an interesting time playing with the 20's and I am ready for that 80. I pray every woman out there gets a chance to have the feeling that I have right now.
ConverseLuv

History in the Making

Don't move, baby don't move,

Awww look at you,

I just want to take this all in.

The moonlight dancing off your skin,

Our time, Let's take our time,

I just want to look in your eyes,

and catch my breath,

Cuz I just got this feeling.

This could be, one of those memories,

The one we want to hold onto, to cling to,

One we can't forget,

Baby this could be our last first kiss,

The door to forever,

What if this was that moment,

That chance worth taking,

History in the Making.