What is really in a name?
I have this one co-worker who I love to discuss random topics with. Earlier this week, I asked him what his thoughts were regarding hyphenating a woman's name once she gets married. He was strictly against it and so the discussion began...
He felt that a woman must take on their husband's name once their are married. Period. To him, it is unacceptable for a woman to hyphenate their name because it is not original, and it is diluting the name. Of course I had to completely disagree with his points- I mean what's the fun in a debate if we all agree right?
This caused me to really wonder, what is really in a name? Should it matter if a woman chooses to keep a name that she has built all of her life? Why should she automatically change the name simply because she gets married? Or because it is the socially acceptable thing to do? Many people, (not just women), today choose to keep their last name. Some choose to hyphenate it, while others choose to replace their middle name with their maiden name and then take on their spouses'.
My argument for wanting to keep my name is that when the time comes for me to receive my Masters degree... I want it to say my last name. My maiden name that is. I have worked so hard, since that first honor roll award in elementary school, all the way to receiving by bachelors, to do the best that I can do academically. Every single one of the awards, certificates, and degrees say my maiden name. Now why should the latest and probably last degree that I get say my married name?
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my future husband- name and all, but there is a special relationship that I have with my own name. Being the first in my immediate family to achieve their bachelors, I have never felt more proud than the day I was able to give my parents my bachelors degree. Having watched and learned their story of coming to a foreign country and struggling to give their children the best life possible- and succeeding, makes me proud to give them something in return. It may be small and insignificant to others, but to me, it is the best gift that I could give. It shows that all their hard work did not go in vain.
To further my point, there are two attorneys that work at my job. The first attorney is not only one of the only three female partners at the firm, she is the only minority. (And she is Jamaican, YES!) The second, is an associate at the firm. Both women have chosen to keep their maiden names. Now their children have their husbands last names, but they have chosen not to take on the name.
Another example, I have a cousin who worked hard to become one of the top OB/GYN's in the area. She was a doctor before she got married. To this day, she is a doctor in her maiden name, but still Mrs. [Insert husband's name here].
All of the above are great examples of strong, successful women who have simply chosen to keep what is rightfully theirs. Now does that make them any less of a woman, wife, or mother? Absolutely not. One of the amazing things about life and time is that it is constantly changing. Thankfully in today's world, we have the luxury and ability to design our own relationships and make our own rules.
I understand the biblical "leave and cleave", concept that,(when you get married), you must leave your parents and cleave to your spouse. But did they really mean name and all?
