May 5, 2012. I can't believe it was here already!!
My Aunt Bridgette, cousin Alex and MOH Vanessa decided to plan my shower. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the shower would have been as nice as it was.
We arrived at the Mayflower Hotel right on time. There was a beautiful tea party set up. All the women were decked out in lovely tea party dresses. It was great to see all the generations of women in my family- to see my past, present, and future all in one place.
We each selected teas that we wanted and recieved individual tea pots. We also recieved individual trays with finger sandwiches, so dainty and nice!
While everyone ate and filled out their games, I mingled from table to table. As the party progressed, we played games and opened gifts. Each of the women recieved a favor which was a lovely tea cup and saucer.
From beginning to end, it was beyond enything I could have ever imagined... There are no words to describle how thankful I was for all the time, hard work and love that these women poured into this event and just for me. It is something that I will never forget!
Monday, August 27, 2012
with this ring... i thee wed
The symbol of eternal love that you will give your partner on your wedding day. The ring that he or she will wear on their left hand for the rest of their life. So choosing the right ring is no pressure right?
Lyndon and I chose our rings a couple months ago but we finally paid them off and picked them up this past Saturday! Being as compulsive as I am, I decided to use the spare time to get some wedding things done. Lyndon does part time security at a high end jewelry store, and it just so happens to be the place he got my engagement ring, so there was no question on where we would shop for our bands.Traditionally, couples would choose matching bands, like my parents, aunts, uncles and even grandparents did. I knew I wanted something that matched my engagement ring, and Lyndon would want something that is simple and classic. We decided to go with different bands, but we would engrave the inside with our initials and our wedding date.
We decided that white gold was the way to go. My engagement ring is a 1.06 ct. round solitaire with 22 small diamonds as side accents on the band. I ended up choosing a custom design that has 26 matching diamonds. Lyndon chose a palladium ring that looks like brushed silver. His ring completely matches his style- simple yet classy.
Something that we learned was choosing a ring earlier, gives you enough time to pay it off, and even shop for sales. There are always sales going on so keep on the look out and do not settle! Remember you will wear this ring forever, so why not go with what you like!
playing catch up- photographer
I know everything happens for a reason.... but somethings make you wonder.
It's Thursday, March 1, 2012. I just left work and remembered that I needed to call my photographer, Soheil, to confirm his address. We were going to send in another payment and with a check that big, you don't want it to fall in the wrong hands. As usual, I forgot what his address was so I needed him to remind me for the millionth time. Our conversation was short and nice. He sounded a little tired, almost as if I had waken him. I got the address and told him the check was in the mail.
We just recieved our thank you notes, and I thought it would be nice to write him a nice note on our personalized stationary. After two drafts, our letter was complete. Enclosed was our deposit. Once again I had waited until the last minute and Sunday night at 10pm was when I was writing the letter. Having the OCD mentality that I do, I needed further confirmation that I had gotten the right address. I began going through all my emails and letters and things trying to find something that had his address on it.
Being too lazy to go downstairs for my "wedding bag" (yes I have an entire bag filled with wedding materials), I began to search the web. I looked on his personal site, and then on facebook. It was then that my heart sank.....
There in plain text, written on his wall were condolences. Soheil had died Saturday, March 3, 2012. I read through each posting trying to figure out what happened. Was this some kind of joke? I just spoke to him! I shook Lyndon awake so he could help me figure out what happened. I felt as if a family member had passed.
While the details of his passing are too much to write, the fact that he is gone is devastating. Not just because he was our photographer, but because he was more than that. He had been in our lives for a brief moment and yet he left such deep footprints in his path. Looking back now, I realize he was such a kind hearted individual, almost angelic like. Yes I know it seems crazy but that is how I felt. He was so kind and calm, soft spoken but powerful beyond measure. Although he is gone, his presence is still here. It is in every photo that he took, the beauty that he was able to capture, the life that he documented through his lens.
Lyndon and I were extremely lucky to have had our engagement session with him. I was honored to be apart of the photos that he took. To this day, (April 26th), I can say that we don't have a photographer. Everyone that we have spoken with just hasn't been like Soheil. All I know is, whoever we choose, they will have big shoes to fill.
Rest in peace my friend.
It's Thursday, March 1, 2012. I just left work and remembered that I needed to call my photographer, Soheil, to confirm his address. We were going to send in another payment and with a check that big, you don't want it to fall in the wrong hands. As usual, I forgot what his address was so I needed him to remind me for the millionth time. Our conversation was short and nice. He sounded a little tired, almost as if I had waken him. I got the address and told him the check was in the mail.
We just recieved our thank you notes, and I thought it would be nice to write him a nice note on our personalized stationary. After two drafts, our letter was complete. Enclosed was our deposit. Once again I had waited until the last minute and Sunday night at 10pm was when I was writing the letter. Having the OCD mentality that I do, I needed further confirmation that I had gotten the right address. I began going through all my emails and letters and things trying to find something that had his address on it.
Being too lazy to go downstairs for my "wedding bag" (yes I have an entire bag filled with wedding materials), I began to search the web. I looked on his personal site, and then on facebook. It was then that my heart sank.....
There in plain text, written on his wall were condolences. Soheil had died Saturday, March 3, 2012. I read through each posting trying to figure out what happened. Was this some kind of joke? I just spoke to him! I shook Lyndon awake so he could help me figure out what happened. I felt as if a family member had passed.
While the details of his passing are too much to write, the fact that he is gone is devastating. Not just because he was our photographer, but because he was more than that. He had been in our lives for a brief moment and yet he left such deep footprints in his path. Looking back now, I realize he was such a kind hearted individual, almost angelic like. Yes I know it seems crazy but that is how I felt. He was so kind and calm, soft spoken but powerful beyond measure. Although he is gone, his presence is still here. It is in every photo that he took, the beauty that he was able to capture, the life that he documented through his lens.
Lyndon and I were extremely lucky to have had our engagement session with him. I was honored to be apart of the photos that he took. To this day, (April 26th), I can say that we don't have a photographer. Everyone that we have spoken with just hasn't been like Soheil. All I know is, whoever we choose, they will have big shoes to fill.
Rest in peace my friend.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
playing catch up- the dress part deux
Where oh where has the time gone? I feel like I blinked and months flew right by! I can't believe we are at the 80 day mark. So let's get caught up, shall we?
Last time I wrote, we were at the cash register ordering my wedding dress. As I stated, the worst thing imaginable happened. The consultant had informed me that the dress had in fact been discontinued.
"So what does this mean for me?", I asked. Basically, I had two.... well one choice really. I can either take the sample dress that I tried on, or I could walk away. There were no other dresses being made, and there were only 4 dresses in my size in the continental USA. No pressure, right? One of the things that David's Bridal does is make all their dresses ready to go, so essentially, each dress in the store can be bought as is. That is fine for a normal dress, but for a wedding dress? If you've ever been a bride or bridesmaid and tried on dresses at DB's, you will know that the dresses there really take a beating. There are holes and tears and all kinds of stains.
Would I really want a dress that so many others had tried on and abused? I asked the manager if there was any way I could get a discount since this was the last dress of that style. I was told because the dress was from the Fall 2010 line, and the price had been dramatically reduced, the only thing they could do was take off an additional $100, but I would have to take the dress that day, and they would not do any alterations or cleaning/ fittings. (Great discount, right?) My other alternative was to pay for the dress as is, have the alterations department clean the dress, reinforce each applique and bead and then move forward with fittings and alterations.
What to choose, what to do? I decided to take a lunch break, (yes, we had been there from 10- 2pm), think it over, and then come back and make a final decision.
In my heart, my frugal frugal heart, I knew that I did not want to spend a lot of money on a dress. Plain and simple. The idea of spending ridiculous amounts of money on a dress that I would only wear once was beyond the grasp of what my frugal pocket could bear. I also knew that I am plus size, which means most places slap on the "fat tax". Was this really my dress? Would I be ok if I walked away and then found out someone had in fact bought the dress..my dress?
I decided to go ahead and get it. There were no tears, no crazy antics like what goes on Say Yes to the dress, (Love that show!), but I just had the feeling that I couldn't walk away. I waited a couple weeks for the alterations to be done, had another fitting and have had the dress ever since. All is well in dress land. :)
ConversLuv
Last time I wrote, we were at the cash register ordering my wedding dress. As I stated, the worst thing imaginable happened. The consultant had informed me that the dress had in fact been discontinued.
"So what does this mean for me?", I asked. Basically, I had two.... well one choice really. I can either take the sample dress that I tried on, or I could walk away. There were no other dresses being made, and there were only 4 dresses in my size in the continental USA. No pressure, right? One of the things that David's Bridal does is make all their dresses ready to go, so essentially, each dress in the store can be bought as is. That is fine for a normal dress, but for a wedding dress? If you've ever been a bride or bridesmaid and tried on dresses at DB's, you will know that the dresses there really take a beating. There are holes and tears and all kinds of stains.
Would I really want a dress that so many others had tried on and abused? I asked the manager if there was any way I could get a discount since this was the last dress of that style. I was told because the dress was from the Fall 2010 line, and the price had been dramatically reduced, the only thing they could do was take off an additional $100, but I would have to take the dress that day, and they would not do any alterations or cleaning/ fittings. (Great discount, right?) My other alternative was to pay for the dress as is, have the alterations department clean the dress, reinforce each applique and bead and then move forward with fittings and alterations.
What to choose, what to do? I decided to take a lunch break, (yes, we had been there from 10- 2pm), think it over, and then come back and make a final decision.
In my heart, my frugal frugal heart, I knew that I did not want to spend a lot of money on a dress. Plain and simple. The idea of spending ridiculous amounts of money on a dress that I would only wear once was beyond the grasp of what my frugal pocket could bear. I also knew that I am plus size, which means most places slap on the "fat tax". Was this really my dress? Would I be ok if I walked away and then found out someone had in fact bought the dress..my dress?
I decided to go ahead and get it. There were no tears, no crazy antics like what goes on Say Yes to the dress, (Love that show!), but I just had the feeling that I couldn't walk away. I waited a couple weeks for the alterations to be done, had another fitting and have had the dress ever since. All is well in dress land. :)
ConversLuv
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
the little bo-peep dress
Being plus sized, it is difficult finding clothes on a normal day. For some reason, our society feels that the larger you get, the uglier the clothes should be. How many times have you gone to the store, and found a classic button down top..... but the sleeves are 3/4 long? (I HATE those shirts!) Finding the right wedding dress can be just as difficult, if not worse.
From the beginning, I stated that I did not want to spend a lot of money on my dress. I couldn't justify spending thousands of dollars on a dress that I could only wear once. I chose to go to my local David's Bridal store and check it out. With the OCD kicking in, I went to the site and printed all the dresses that I liked, so I could give the consultant a good idea of what I was looking for.
On the day of the appointment, my small team of girls and myself traveled to the store. Apparently, the store changed locations. (Always double check the address!) We were early, so we had enough time to get to the right location. Our consultant greeted us, and the process began. I had this vision that it was going to be like the show, "Say yes to the dress." I would try on a dress, walk out and tears would instantly form in my mother's eyes. I would see myself in the mirror and start to bawl, this is the dress!! But that didn't quite happen for me.
I was told up front that DB could not alter the dresses in any way that would change the design, (i.e. use the top of one dress, and the bottom of another, or remove the lace, etc.) While I was trying on dresses, I felt they looked, "ok" but I didn't get that wow factor that I was looking for. I started to fear that I wouldn't find the dress. My mother picked out a dress that she liked and showed it to me. At first I didn't like it at all. I even named it the, "Little Bo- Peep" dress. My team loved the dress, but I couldn't see myself in it. I didn't even want to try it on.
After minutes of debating back and forth, my mother put her foot down and insisted that I try it on. I knew things looked different on the hanger, but I wasn't interested. Finally I gave in and tried it. As I walked out, everyone loved the dress... I was waiting for that teary moment, but never got it. Don't get me wrong, the dress was beautiful, but it just didn't do it for me. I loved the top of it, but hated the skirt. It gave me a wonderful hour glass shape and was gorgeous...but I hated that skirt. I took it off and continued trying on other dresses. I narrowed it down to three- one that I liked, one that was plain, and the one my team liked, the little bo-peep dress.
Convinced that I would prove them wrong, I decided to try on the plain dress first, the little bo-peep dress second, and then my choice last. The first one was nice, but it was too plain, and I also didn't like the fabric. I tried on the little bo-peep dress again. Once again, I loved the top, but hated the skirt. As I stared at the dress in the mirror, having my own private moment in the chaotic and loud dressing room, I slowly lifted the top layer of the dress and rolled it asside. There it was. Beneath the top layer was a satin skirt. The more and more I played around with the dress, the more I liked it. I hated to admit it, but the little bo- peep dress kicked all the other dresses out the window. The problem was David's Birdal already told me they couldn't alter the design of the dress at all.
My mother saw what I was doing an confirmed that it is possible for her to remove the top layer of the skirt. (Of course she can sew, is there anything she can't do?!) Right then and there, I decided this was the dress for me!! I couldn't believe that I had chosen a dress on the first visit, and it was under budget!
Convinced that I would prove them wrong, I decided to try on the plain dress first, the little bo-peep dress second, and then my choice last. The first one was nice, but it was too plain, and I also didn't like the fabric. I tried on the little bo-peep dress again. Once again, I loved the top, but hated the skirt. As I stared at the dress in the mirror, having my own private moment in the chaotic and loud dressing room, I slowly lifted the top layer of the dress and rolled it asside. There it was. Beneath the top layer was a satin skirt. The more and more I played around with the dress, the more I liked it. I hated to admit it, but the little bo- peep dress kicked all the other dresses out the window. The problem was David's Birdal already told me they couldn't alter the design of the dress at all.
My mother saw what I was doing an confirmed that it is possible for her to remove the top layer of the skirt. (Of course she can sew, is there anything she can't do?!) Right then and there, I decided this was the dress for me!! I couldn't believe that I had chosen a dress on the first visit, and it was under budget!
As I got dressed and headed to the front of the store, our consultant began ringing up our purchases. She ordered the shoes, and the veil. As she attempted to order the dress, one of the worst things imaginable happened...
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Engagement Session part deux
In the couple days leading up to our engagement session, I have to admit that I was a little overwhelmed. Being the typical OCD person that I am, I began to fret about taking the actual pictures. These will most likely be the pictures that we use in our save the dates, so what should we wear?!!
Finally we decided that Lyndon would wear a light purple button down shirt, with a gray and black argyle diamond sweater, dark blue jeans, and black boots. I decided on a white button down, with a purple cardigan, dark blue jeans and black booties. I had on a silver and purple necklace, silver ball earrings, and my engagement ring of course!
A couple nights before, our photographer sent us a list of do's and don'ts Here are my top 4 favorite:
1. Wear comfortable SHOES!! I thought I was soooo cute in my black bootie heels, but as we kept walking on the uneven paved walk way, and on the bridge through the park, I quickly realized heels weren't such a good idea. We would walk a little, stop and take a couple pictures and then continue walking. By the time we took the last shot, we were on the other side of the lake!! I dreaded every single step back to the car. (But I LOVE my heels!!) The sad part is that they never made it into any of the photos! Looking back, it wasn't worth the pain.
2. Definitely eat before the session. There is nothing more embarrassing in my opinion that staring into your hunny's eyes and hearing nothing but nature.....and your stomach growling. I was soooo glad for that donut!
3. Leave your phones, purses, and anything that you don't need in the car. As you walk around, you will take off your coats and other excess belongings. It eventually becomes cumbersome to have to drag around unnecessary items.
And finally, 4. Enjoy the moment. How often do you get to take some time out and really share that special moment with your beau? Even though Lyndon and I try to, we often get caught up in our day to day routines. This was a great opportunity for us to re-connect.
On the morning of the session, Lyndon and I got as camera ready as we could, grabbed a light breakfast, (iced coffee and a donut for me!!), and headed to to the pre-arranged location. Our photographer was running a little late, but that was perfect because it gave us just enough time to scope the place out and take it all in. Once he arrived, he explained to us what would happen. We walked, talked, laughed and had a great time! I have to say that it's amazing the way he captured certain shots. It felt very relaxed and comfortable.
And finally, 4. Enjoy the moment. How often do you get to take some time out and really share that special moment with your beau? Even though Lyndon and I try to, we often get caught up in our day to day routines. This was a great opportunity for us to re-connect.
On the morning of the session, Lyndon and I got as camera ready as we could, grabbed a light breakfast, (iced coffee and a donut for me!!), and headed to to the pre-arranged location. Our photographer was running a little late, but that was perfect because it gave us just enough time to scope the place out and take it all in. Once he arrived, he explained to us what would happen. We walked, talked, laughed and had a great time! I have to say that it's amazing the way he captured certain shots. It felt very relaxed and comfortable.
Overall, I thought it was a great experience and our photographer was so wonderful. He really put us at ease and guided us through the session in such an unobtrusive way. I loved it!! Here are some of the pictures we took. I am waiting on the dvd containing the actual pictures, but here are a couple that tried to save just so you could see. Enjoy!!
Monday, October 3, 2011
a picture is worth a thousand words....
So far in our wedding planning, we have been lucky- I have an aunt that does catering, a venue that allows her to cater there, another aunt who bakes the most delicious cakes, a dj who we have used for years, a mother who is so creative that she can do just about anything. (Say hello to my new florist!) lol. Even with all of this, there is one thing that has me a little on edge- the photographer and videographer.
I feel that years from now, no one is going to remember what you ate, or what you said, or that it rained, or even that you had cold feet. As time goes on, some of the special memories and details that you swore you would never forget, will fade and all that remains are the pictures and videos. So why am I so nervous? I have heard far to many horror stories of pictures getting lost, or couples having to sue their photographer because they failed to deliver what they promised. The more and more I kept asking for refferals, the more horror stories I got. I have to admit, I was a little worried that we might just have to settle. And then it happened....
My parents were working a special event where they happened to meet a photographer. They liked him so much that they took his card and instantly told me to check him out. Before you knew it, we set up an appointment and it was there that I instantly fell in love with his work. As soon as we walked in, you could tell that this person does photography for a living, not just a hobby, and has a true passion for it.
He showed us all the different options, and what I like most is that you can pick a basic package and then add a la carte items. I hadn't even thought about getting blown up photos in addition to albums. He really educated us on the whole process and made us feel at ease. This was it. I knew that he is the photographer for us. I asked the future husband what he thought and he got the same vibe.
It feels great to check one more thing off the list. With our upcoming engagement session, it is starting to feel real. I guess the next battle for us is, what to wear?!
I feel that years from now, no one is going to remember what you ate, or what you said, or that it rained, or even that you had cold feet. As time goes on, some of the special memories and details that you swore you would never forget, will fade and all that remains are the pictures and videos. So why am I so nervous? I have heard far to many horror stories of pictures getting lost, or couples having to sue their photographer because they failed to deliver what they promised. The more and more I kept asking for refferals, the more horror stories I got. I have to admit, I was a little worried that we might just have to settle. And then it happened....
My parents were working a special event where they happened to meet a photographer. They liked him so much that they took his card and instantly told me to check him out. Before you knew it, we set up an appointment and it was there that I instantly fell in love with his work. As soon as we walked in, you could tell that this person does photography for a living, not just a hobby, and has a true passion for it.
He showed us all the different options, and what I like most is that you can pick a basic package and then add a la carte items. I hadn't even thought about getting blown up photos in addition to albums. He really educated us on the whole process and made us feel at ease. This was it. I knew that he is the photographer for us. I asked the future husband what he thought and he got the same vibe.
It feels great to check one more thing off the list. With our upcoming engagement session, it is starting to feel real. I guess the next battle for us is, what to wear?!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
What's in a name?
What is really in a name?
I have this one co-worker who I love to discuss random topics with. Earlier this week, I asked him what his thoughts were regarding hyphenating a woman's name once she gets married. He was strictly against it and so the discussion began...
He felt that a woman must take on their husband's name once their are married. Period. To him, it is unacceptable for a woman to hyphenate their name because it is not original, and it is diluting the name. Of course I had to completely disagree with his points- I mean what's the fun in a debate if we all agree right?
This caused me to really wonder, what is really in a name? Should it matter if a woman chooses to keep a name that she has built all of her life? Why should she automatically change the name simply because she gets married? Or because it is the socially acceptable thing to do? Many people, (not just women), today choose to keep their last name. Some choose to hyphenate it, while others choose to replace their middle name with their maiden name and then take on their spouses'.
My argument for wanting to keep my name is that when the time comes for me to receive my Masters degree... I want it to say my last name. My maiden name that is. I have worked so hard, since that first honor roll award in elementary school, all the way to receiving by bachelors, to do the best that I can do academically. Every single one of the awards, certificates, and degrees say my maiden name. Now why should the latest and probably last degree that I get say my married name?
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my future husband- name and all, but there is a special relationship that I have with my own name. Being the first in my immediate family to achieve their bachelors, I have never felt more proud than the day I was able to give my parents my bachelors degree. Having watched and learned their story of coming to a foreign country and struggling to give their children the best life possible- and succeeding, makes me proud to give them something in return. It may be small and insignificant to others, but to me, it is the best gift that I could give. It shows that all their hard work did not go in vain.
To further my point, there are two attorneys that work at my job. The first attorney is not only one of the only three female partners at the firm, she is the only minority. (And she is Jamaican, YES!) The second, is an associate at the firm. Both women have chosen to keep their maiden names. Now their children have their husbands last names, but they have chosen not to take on the name.
Another example, I have a cousin who worked hard to become one of the top OB/GYN's in the area. She was a doctor before she got married. To this day, she is a doctor in her maiden name, but still Mrs. [Insert husband's name here].
All of the above are great examples of strong, successful women who have simply chosen to keep what is rightfully theirs. Now does that make them any less of a woman, wife, or mother? Absolutely not. One of the amazing things about life and time is that it is constantly changing. Thankfully in today's world, we have the luxury and ability to design our own relationships and make our own rules.
I understand the biblical "leave and cleave", concept that,(when you get married), you must leave your parents and cleave to your spouse. But did they really mean name and all?
I have this one co-worker who I love to discuss random topics with. Earlier this week, I asked him what his thoughts were regarding hyphenating a woman's name once she gets married. He was strictly against it and so the discussion began...
He felt that a woman must take on their husband's name once their are married. Period. To him, it is unacceptable for a woman to hyphenate their name because it is not original, and it is diluting the name. Of course I had to completely disagree with his points- I mean what's the fun in a debate if we all agree right?
This caused me to really wonder, what is really in a name? Should it matter if a woman chooses to keep a name that she has built all of her life? Why should she automatically change the name simply because she gets married? Or because it is the socially acceptable thing to do? Many people, (not just women), today choose to keep their last name. Some choose to hyphenate it, while others choose to replace their middle name with their maiden name and then take on their spouses'.
My argument for wanting to keep my name is that when the time comes for me to receive my Masters degree... I want it to say my last name. My maiden name that is. I have worked so hard, since that first honor roll award in elementary school, all the way to receiving by bachelors, to do the best that I can do academically. Every single one of the awards, certificates, and degrees say my maiden name. Now why should the latest and probably last degree that I get say my married name?
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my future husband- name and all, but there is a special relationship that I have with my own name. Being the first in my immediate family to achieve their bachelors, I have never felt more proud than the day I was able to give my parents my bachelors degree. Having watched and learned their story of coming to a foreign country and struggling to give their children the best life possible- and succeeding, makes me proud to give them something in return. It may be small and insignificant to others, but to me, it is the best gift that I could give. It shows that all their hard work did not go in vain.
To further my point, there are two attorneys that work at my job. The first attorney is not only one of the only three female partners at the firm, she is the only minority. (And she is Jamaican, YES!) The second, is an associate at the firm. Both women have chosen to keep their maiden names. Now their children have their husbands last names, but they have chosen not to take on the name.
Another example, I have a cousin who worked hard to become one of the top OB/GYN's in the area. She was a doctor before she got married. To this day, she is a doctor in her maiden name, but still Mrs. [Insert husband's name here].
All of the above are great examples of strong, successful women who have simply chosen to keep what is rightfully theirs. Now does that make them any less of a woman, wife, or mother? Absolutely not. One of the amazing things about life and time is that it is constantly changing. Thankfully in today's world, we have the luxury and ability to design our own relationships and make our own rules.
I understand the biblical "leave and cleave", concept that,(when you get married), you must leave your parents and cleave to your spouse. But did they really mean name and all?
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Battle of the Bulge: Getting into ,"Wedding Day Shape"
As I checked my check list of "to dos" this morning, this is what I saw:
If you can't read it, it says, " Get in wedding day shape by eating right, joining a gym, and/or hiring a personal trainer" Not Assigned AND it has now added an alarm clock AND highlighted itself in red! UGH
Now if you know me, you know that I am obsessive when it comes to lists and checking things off as soon as possible. I do not like to put something off that I can do today. I find pleasure in being able to check things off and be ahead of schedule. And yet this stupid task "Wedding Day Shape," or "Shedding for the Wedding," is just one step that I keep overlooking. As you can see what once was a simple task has now turned into an over due task. OVER DUE?! On one of MY lists? That is simply unheard of! Some might say to just check it off so the task will disappear and move on. But I know I just can't do that! This is just something that has to be done, I mean, who wants to look like a stuffed sausage on their wedding day? I also know that the sooner you start, the easier it will be. But for some reason I just can't seem to get it in gear!
This has almost become unavoidable. On almost every check list that I come across, they mention that brides should start as soon as possible to get into, "wedding day shape." What exactly is wedding day shape you ask?
In case you've been living under a rock somewhere, it is basically its where the bride does everything within her power to shed those extra lbs she's been carrying around. The wedding is a time where ultimately the bride stands out- not blends in. Modern day society has scared all women into thinking that you must look your best on your wedding day and the only way to do that is to loose the love handles! While women can look beautiful at any size, everyone knows there's an unspoken desire to be smaller. Add a wedding into the mix and there can be TONS of pressure to loose the weight. (no pun intended)
Well ladies and gents, I too have fallen victim to this. I have always been proud of the fact that I am comfortable in my own skin but for some reason the idea of squeezing into a dress and not looking as great as I want to frightens me. While it should be a happy moment, I confess that I am dreading the thought of standing in front of 216 family and friends and not looking my best. You would think that that should be motivation enough, but it isn't!
This is the one time that I will definitely stand out. Not to mention all the pictures and videos that will be taken. No matter how much you try to avoid it, with today's technology age, the photos are bound to reach social networking sites. (To think that they won't is to be completely in denial.) So in other words, there will be hundreds of people that will see these photos- to say the least.
Now we all know that the camera adds 10 pounds, which means I should be doing sit ups as we speak. I can't seem to figure out why I am so unenthusiastic about this, I used to LOVE working out. Everyone else around me seems to be also "shedding for the wedding" which I thought would help to motivate me, but for some reason it isn't. I know I don't eat as healthy as I should. If you know me, you know my favorite room is the kitchen. I absolutely LOVE to cook. There is no greater pleasure than taking random things and turning them into a wonderful meal.
So can someone please tell me how am I supposed to get motivated?! I have the deadline of 5-6 months before I absolutely have to purchase a dress. I would like to shed at least 50 pounds.... which equates to about 2lbs a week. I guess that's not too bad. As they say, there's no time like the present. I guess today is THE day. Maybe if I keep blogging about it, I will become more and more motivated to loose these annoying love handles that I've been carrying around! Oh well, here goes nothing. To the 2-3 people that actually read this and are in similar situation: don't worry, I am going to do some research on how brides in the past lost those annoying last few pounds before the big day. So stay tuned because the best has yet to come.
Wish me luck!
ConverseLuv
If you can't read it, it says, " Get in wedding day shape by eating right, joining a gym, and/or hiring a personal trainer" Not Assigned AND it has now added an alarm clock AND highlighted itself in red! UGHNow if you know me, you know that I am obsessive when it comes to lists and checking things off as soon as possible. I do not like to put something off that I can do today. I find pleasure in being able to check things off and be ahead of schedule. And yet this stupid task "Wedding Day Shape," or "Shedding for the Wedding," is just one step that I keep overlooking. As you can see what once was a simple task has now turned into an over due task. OVER DUE?! On one of MY lists? That is simply unheard of! Some might say to just check it off so the task will disappear and move on. But I know I just can't do that! This is just something that has to be done, I mean, who wants to look like a stuffed sausage on their wedding day? I also know that the sooner you start, the easier it will be. But for some reason I just can't seem to get it in gear!
This has almost become unavoidable. On almost every check list that I come across, they mention that brides should start as soon as possible to get into, "wedding day shape." What exactly is wedding day shape you ask?
In case you've been living under a rock somewhere, it is basically its where the bride does everything within her power to shed those extra lbs she's been carrying around. The wedding is a time where ultimately the bride stands out- not blends in. Modern day society has scared all women into thinking that you must look your best on your wedding day and the only way to do that is to loose the love handles! While women can look beautiful at any size, everyone knows there's an unspoken desire to be smaller. Add a wedding into the mix and there can be TONS of pressure to loose the weight. (no pun intended)
Well ladies and gents, I too have fallen victim to this. I have always been proud of the fact that I am comfortable in my own skin but for some reason the idea of squeezing into a dress and not looking as great as I want to frightens me. While it should be a happy moment, I confess that I am dreading the thought of standing in front of 216 family and friends and not looking my best. You would think that that should be motivation enough, but it isn't!
This is the one time that I will definitely stand out. Not to mention all the pictures and videos that will be taken. No matter how much you try to avoid it, with today's technology age, the photos are bound to reach social networking sites. (To think that they won't is to be completely in denial.) So in other words, there will be hundreds of people that will see these photos- to say the least.
Now we all know that the camera adds 10 pounds, which means I should be doing sit ups as we speak. I can't seem to figure out why I am so unenthusiastic about this, I used to LOVE working out. Everyone else around me seems to be also "shedding for the wedding" which I thought would help to motivate me, but for some reason it isn't. I know I don't eat as healthy as I should. If you know me, you know my favorite room is the kitchen. I absolutely LOVE to cook. There is no greater pleasure than taking random things and turning them into a wonderful meal.
So can someone please tell me how am I supposed to get motivated?! I have the deadline of 5-6 months before I absolutely have to purchase a dress. I would like to shed at least 50 pounds.... which equates to about 2lbs a week. I guess that's not too bad. As they say, there's no time like the present. I guess today is THE day. Maybe if I keep blogging about it, I will become more and more motivated to loose these annoying love handles that I've been carrying around! Oh well, here goes nothing. To the 2-3 people that actually read this and are in similar situation: don't worry, I am going to do some research on how brides in the past lost those annoying last few pounds before the big day. So stay tuned because the best has yet to come.
Wish me luck!
ConverseLuv
Friday, July 15, 2011
The Countdown
Ok. So this is it. The official countdown has begun. 366 days are all that's left between me and my single life.
Part of me is excited because I know that we are almost in the home stretch. On the other hand, I realize that time is almost out and we still have so much to do! At times I try not to think about it because it can be so overwhelming.
But I am happy to say that the struggle with the list is over! If you've read my earlier posts you must know how happy this has made me.
We went through the list a couple more times, shed who we could shed, and added who needed to be added. The final total count is 216. 216. 216? 216! I never thought it was possible to put a number on the most important people in my life, but I guess if I had to, 216 is it. There were some arguments and debates on who made the list, but in the end once the dust settled, we survived with no broken bones and all limbs intact. I had to realize that this is not only my day, but my parents as well. This is their time to shine. So even though I felt certain individuals shouldn't have been on the list, or vice versa, I realized that it isn't worth the argument. No matter what I do, someone will be hurt. If I focus on that then I will miss out this once in a lifetime event. We were supposed to be under 200 but I figure we can break down some tables once the partying begins. I can say that a serious weight has been lifted off my chest. At least there is one more thing checked off my list!!!!!!!!!
One thing that I keep doing over and over is thinking how the overall day and time will be when I reflect back years from now. What I mean is, am I going to be ok with the choices I make today years from now? I have been desperately asking and praying on certain things to try and find the answer but for some reason the only answer I keep getting is to follow my heart. I know this doesn't really make sense because I haven't given you background material. But... oh well.
Back to my main point- There is still SO MUCH TO DO!! I thought the little things that we have accomplished meant that we were ahead of the game, but as the days go by one by one, I keep realizing that time is running out. If you know me, you know that I have an OCD- control freak- type personality. I hate the idea of leaving something in someone else's hands. There's a small margin of things that I like. The idea that we have time and I can wait just doesn't cut it for me. (There's that control freak coming out.) I am the type that will stay up for days on end working out every nook and crany. Procrastination doesn't work for me and it simply stresses me out.
All in all, I must say that I am enjoying the process so far, and only hope that it gets better. I have a ton of support from people which has really helped. I am extremely lucky to come from a talented family and I have amazing friends who have blessed me with their knowledge and ideas.
I know that this moment in my life is only coming around one time so I have to do the best that I can to make it count. This is something every girl dreams of for as long as they can remember. I just hope that time slows down just a little bit so I can enjoy every moment.
ConverseLuv.
Part of me is excited because I know that we are almost in the home stretch. On the other hand, I realize that time is almost out and we still have so much to do! At times I try not to think about it because it can be so overwhelming.
But I am happy to say that the struggle with the list is over! If you've read my earlier posts you must know how happy this has made me.
We went through the list a couple more times, shed who we could shed, and added who needed to be added. The final total count is 216. 216. 216? 216! I never thought it was possible to put a number on the most important people in my life, but I guess if I had to, 216 is it. There were some arguments and debates on who made the list, but in the end once the dust settled, we survived with no broken bones and all limbs intact. I had to realize that this is not only my day, but my parents as well. This is their time to shine. So even though I felt certain individuals shouldn't have been on the list, or vice versa, I realized that it isn't worth the argument. No matter what I do, someone will be hurt. If I focus on that then I will miss out this once in a lifetime event. We were supposed to be under 200 but I figure we can break down some tables once the partying begins. I can say that a serious weight has been lifted off my chest. At least there is one more thing checked off my list!!!!!!!!!
One thing that I keep doing over and over is thinking how the overall day and time will be when I reflect back years from now. What I mean is, am I going to be ok with the choices I make today years from now? I have been desperately asking and praying on certain things to try and find the answer but for some reason the only answer I keep getting is to follow my heart. I know this doesn't really make sense because I haven't given you background material. But... oh well.
Back to my main point- There is still SO MUCH TO DO!! I thought the little things that we have accomplished meant that we were ahead of the game, but as the days go by one by one, I keep realizing that time is running out. If you know me, you know that I have an OCD- control freak- type personality. I hate the idea of leaving something in someone else's hands. There's a small margin of things that I like. The idea that we have time and I can wait just doesn't cut it for me. (There's that control freak coming out.) I am the type that will stay up for days on end working out every nook and crany. Procrastination doesn't work for me and it simply stresses me out.
All in all, I must say that I am enjoying the process so far, and only hope that it gets better. I have a ton of support from people which has really helped. I am extremely lucky to come from a talented family and I have amazing friends who have blessed me with their knowledge and ideas.
I know that this moment in my life is only coming around one time so I have to do the best that I can to make it count. This is something every girl dreams of for as long as they can remember. I just hope that time slows down just a little bit so I can enjoy every moment.
ConverseLuv.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The List
To invite or not to invite....
Why does it seem that as soon as you're getting married, everyone you've ever known manages to come out of the woodwork's?
Once you are getting married, you will soon discover that all weddings are a business. There are charges, and surcharges- not to mention venue restrictions and capacity limits. So what to do? You find a place and its great, it has everything you've wanted in a venue and it can hold a large amount of people. You then find out the number of people you're allowed to invite. (If you want a dance floor (who doesn't), you have to cut that number down by an additional 40.) Then you have to factor in your partner which means that number is now divided by half. (i.e. a venue can hold 300-40 (dance floor)= 260 /2 (your partner's side)= 130. 130. The magic number!
So you're telling me I need to create a list that includes every important person in my life and restrict it to 130? Let's not forget all the family, and your parents' friends...... by the time you look around, you're down to 30 people that you're allowed to invite. TO YOUR OWN WEDDING! I've never realized how large my immediate family is, not to mention the extended family. I am beginning to feel like the chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding- Jamaican style. There are so many people that are important and that you would want to take part in your special day, you forget that they all add up. It all comes down to the dollars and cents of the matter.
As I said before, weddings are a form of a business. After all these people venture from every corner of the earth just to participate in your special day, you've got to feed them! Imagine if your caterer charges you $25 per person- multiply that by the number of people= $6500. Over $6000 on just food! And then watch the look on your face once you realize some people don't show up! Guess we'll be serving McDonald's at my wedding..... I'm just saying.
The thing that I don't understand is why do you have to invite some people just because? Like why do you have to invite that ungrateful cousin that you detest, or that aunt that you absolutely cannot stand? Can someone please tell me what's the point of inviting someone who you know really doesn't care about your well-being but just because the same blood runs through your veins, they're an automatic shoo-in? I have tried to create every stupid rule just to cut my list down like, "If I haven't talked to you in 2011 you're off the list", or my favorite, "Just put all the possible names in a hat and draw until I reach the limit." I mean who cares if my friend I met last year is invited, but Grandma didn't make the cut? (I can just see my mother giving me that "look")
I guess in the end, it’s up to you and your parents on who to invite. They say that it's your marriage but your family's wedding. The one thing that I keep trying to remember throughout this is that on the night of the wedding, when all is said and done and I am sitting in my husbands' arms reflecting on the days' events, I don't want to have any regrets. I know that there are going to be many battles throughout the planning process, so I have to pick and choose wisely.
Why does it seem that as soon as you're getting married, everyone you've ever known manages to come out of the woodwork's?
Once you are getting married, you will soon discover that all weddings are a business. There are charges, and surcharges- not to mention venue restrictions and capacity limits. So what to do? You find a place and its great, it has everything you've wanted in a venue and it can hold a large amount of people. You then find out the number of people you're allowed to invite. (If you want a dance floor (who doesn't), you have to cut that number down by an additional 40.) Then you have to factor in your partner which means that number is now divided by half. (i.e. a venue can hold 300-40 (dance floor)= 260 /2 (your partner's side)= 130. 130. The magic number!
So you're telling me I need to create a list that includes every important person in my life and restrict it to 130? Let's not forget all the family, and your parents' friends...... by the time you look around, you're down to 30 people that you're allowed to invite. TO YOUR OWN WEDDING! I've never realized how large my immediate family is, not to mention the extended family. I am beginning to feel like the chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding- Jamaican style. There are so many people that are important and that you would want to take part in your special day, you forget that they all add up. It all comes down to the dollars and cents of the matter.
As I said before, weddings are a form of a business. After all these people venture from every corner of the earth just to participate in your special day, you've got to feed them! Imagine if your caterer charges you $25 per person- multiply that by the number of people= $6500. Over $6000 on just food! And then watch the look on your face once you realize some people don't show up! Guess we'll be serving McDonald's at my wedding..... I'm just saying.
The thing that I don't understand is why do you have to invite some people just because? Like why do you have to invite that ungrateful cousin that you detest, or that aunt that you absolutely cannot stand? Can someone please tell me what's the point of inviting someone who you know really doesn't care about your well-being but just because the same blood runs through your veins, they're an automatic shoo-in? I have tried to create every stupid rule just to cut my list down like, "If I haven't talked to you in 2011 you're off the list", or my favorite, "Just put all the possible names in a hat and draw until I reach the limit." I mean who cares if my friend I met last year is invited, but Grandma didn't make the cut? (I can just see my mother giving me that "look")
I guess in the end, it’s up to you and your parents on who to invite. They say that it's your marriage but your family's wedding. The one thing that I keep trying to remember throughout this is that on the night of the wedding, when all is said and done and I am sitting in my husbands' arms reflecting on the days' events, I don't want to have any regrets. I know that there are going to be many battles throughout the planning process, so I have to pick and choose wisely.
Well I know one thing, it's back to the drawing board.... This list isn't going to make itself!
ConverseLuv
ConverseLuv
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Engagement
A friend of mine thought it would be a good idea to blog about what's going through my mind during the wedding planning process.... it would be a good thing to look back on. I thought it was a cool idea so here I go....
Where to start. Oh yes! I am ENGAGED! It all happened on April 9th 2011. FH (future husband) worked a couple jobs on the weekend, so I decided to head down to my mother's house to hang out. Around 5:30pm, He called and said it would be a good idea for us to go out to dinner that night around 6:30-7. We normally go out with my family, but he thought it would be best for us to go alone. Mind you, I was in sweats, no make up, my hair was recently washed and curly. In other words, I looked a hot mess! He thought I should go home and get ready, but he forgot that he had dropped me at my mothers house leaving me with no car!
Luckily, my mother and I are relatively the same size so I raided her closet, shoes, jewelry and make up! I could tell something was up when he arrived to pick me up. Every minute I left the room, he would be sneaking around my parents whispering to them. So finally we left and went to dinner. As we pulled up to Ruth Chris' Steak house I looked over to him and he had this HUGE grin on his face.
Normally he is very affectionate, but for some reason he wouldn't allow me to hug him. (The Ring). We sat down to eat and had a great meal. Right before they served dessert, FH pulled out the ring and placed it on the table. He looked at me and asked the famous words, WILL YOU MARRY ME? Not wanting to cause a scene, I simply smile and said yes. (We were sitting in a booth in a high traffic area so he did not get down on one knee.) Of course, I have chubby little fingers so the ring could not fit! As we were finishing up the meal, FH dropped a glass and broke it! We walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand and waited for the car to pull up. As we were waiting, he got down on one knee and asked me again.
We drove back to my parents house, where they received us with smiles and congratulations. I had been grilling my mother the entire time to see if she knew anything. It came out that he showed my mother the ring right before we left for dinner simply because he knew I would be asking her. He also asked my father weeks before he popped the question. To this day I still don't know what was said.
And so that's how I got ENGAGED!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
the life experience...
Ever get that deja vu feeling? The idea that you've been there or seen that before? To me, whenever that happens, i always feel that its a sign from above that my life is going in the direction that it should be.
As I sit here and look at my surroundings, I have realized that one thing reigns true. The one thing that remains constant is change. If you're not ready for it, you could miss out on the opportunity that life brings your way.
Every year around this time, I always take a moment and reflect on things that have happened throughout the year. I look back on my life and think of things that I wished I had done, things that I wished I had done differently and I even question whether I made the right decisions. This is one of the times where I can actually say that I am truly happy with where I am in my life. While there are some things that I wished I had done differently, I am completely content with my overall position.
One of the good things about doing such a reflection, is that you get the opportunity to look back and realize the err of your ways. While I cannot change the things that have happened in the past, I do know that I can only control the future. I know for the future, I must take the time to see things from someone else's point of view. I need to be able to be patient and not let my emotions get the best of me. I also need to learn that I too am human and I have got to remember that I am a work in progress.
As I look back on 2010, I realize that my life will never be the same again. And while I should be nervous and scared of what 2011 has in store, I know that if it is anything like this past year, I have a lot to look forward to! I have in every way possible taken a leap of faith in hopes that everything I have been taught since birth will enable me to fly. I guess at some point that's really what we're living for, right? To gain the life experience!
ConverseLuv
Thursday, June 17, 2010
my wish for you...
It has been several months since my last posting. Time flies by when you're trying to live your life. Naturally so many things have happened since my last post- way too much to enter into one entry.Why is it everytime I have to write an entry, I sit and look at the screen over and over. I write something and then delete it. Write something else and delete it again. I put my innermost thoughts down and then change it. As usual, I can never make a decision! Finally it came to me, and here it is:
I wish for you that one great love. The most amazing love that you could ever have.
One thing that I wish for you is love. I wish that you can wake up every day with your heart bursting with the feeling that you are loved. The feeling that your heart is so light, it could almost rip through your chest. I wish that you can become completely giddy just thinking of their name.
Knowing there is that one person who you can be completely whole with. Be completely bare- in the sense that you can show them everything about you- the good, bad, and ugly- and once the dust settles they are still there.
I wish you can find someone that thinks the most of you. Someone who carries you in their spirit and wants nothing but the best for you. An individual who would do absolutely anything just to get a smile on your face. A person who couldn't imagine sharing you with anyone else. Someone who stands stands in a crowded room but only has eyes for you.
I wish you find a person that chooses to neither walk in front or behind you- but beside you- to guide you when you need direction, pick you up when you fall and dust you off when you've been hurt. To give you just enough encouragement that pushes you to the limit of your optimum potential. I wish for you trust. The ability to give your heart to someone and to trust that they won't break it.
I wish you find not the one that you can live with, but the one that you can't live with out. The one who you can't get your mind off of. The one you could spend every waking minute with and not get sick and tired of it. The one who you can watch while they sleep and wonder what they dream of. The one who you can't feel complete without.
In life everyone deserves love.
I wish for you that one great love. The most amazing love that you could ever have.
ConverseLuv
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Life...
Life is what you make it so try and make it, I know that you will.
Sorry I haven't written in a while, had alot going on. But never fear cuzzzzz I'M BACK! So much has happened since my last post that I didn't even know where to begin. Friendships have been created, tested and lost; Some relationships have grown while others have ceased to exist. But such is LIFE right?
I've been in a relationship with LIFE for 24+ years now and I still don't get it. Just when I think LIFE and I are on good terms, LIFE throws me for a loop. LIFE is amazing. LIFE is a bi*ch. Sometimes LIFE is good to me, and sometimes its bad. But I can't help it. I love LIFE. I can't live without LIFE so I've just got to deal with whatever LIFE throws my way.
LIFE is amazing. It is when the shit hits the fan that you truly know where you stand. LIFE is a game only played once. There are no rules and no take backs you have only one shot, one attempt to make it count. That's it. Before you look around, its over. You don't get to decide when and where the end will be, so you've got to do the best you can do with what you've got.
The funny thing about LIFE is that you don't understand its meaning until you're too old and decrepit to do anything about it. When you're first born, you only care about simple things. LIFE makes you keep going, forcing you to run after the next adventure. At first you learn to roll over but you LIFE makes you aware that you are still stagnant. You then learn crawl but then LIFE pushes you to stand. After you learn to stand, LIFE forces you walk and eventually run. There will be times you fall down and scrape your knee, but LIFE helps you getup, dusts you and makes you try again. This is LIFE.
People come in and out of your LIFE all the time, but its the one's who leave footprints that you won't forget. Always remember LIFE stops for no one so instead of holding back to really say what you feel or putting things off for another day. Tell me now! Go for it today! Ever notice when you go to a funeral people gather around and talk about all the good things the deceased did, all the great times had and how they truly felt. Why do we wait until LIFE is over before we say all the things we should have said and do all the things we should have done?
So get it out now. Do all the things you want to do. Say all the things you want to say. You will never have these moments again in LIFE so really make it count. I don't know if LIFE and I will ever get along in this relationship of ours, but what can I say, I'm in love with LIFE so no matter what LIFE decides to throw my way, I'm ready!
ConverseLuv
"Golden"
I'm taking my freedom,
I'm taking my freedom,
Pulling it off the shelf,
Putting it on my chain,
Wear it around my neck,
I'm taking my freedom,
Put it in my car,
Wherever I choose to go,
It will take me far
I'm living my LIFE it's GOLDEN.
Putting it on my chain,
Wear it around my neck,
I'm taking my freedom,
Put it in my car,
Wherever I choose to go,
It will take me far
I'm living my LIFE it's GOLDEN.
Monday, January 25, 2010
the past is the past for a reason...
...you can't move forward if you keep looking back.
Shout out to my four followers for reading my blog! :) An entry like this was coming a long time... might as well open up a little now.
The title and first line of this entry was my recent status message on a popular social network. Interestingly enough, a friend of mine commented on my status and this is what she said:
"Look at your life as if you are driving a car. Your windshield is BIG and FULL of your future. Like where you are going, and the things that are coming to you. Your rear view mirror is small and insignificant; it only gives you a glance of what is behind you... its your past... you've already been through it... It's Done! The only way it can catch up to you is if you put it in neutral, or reverse. Get in gear!"
Her response really hit me and made me think. If you keep dwelling on the past, there is no way you can be receptive of the future. Let go and let God. For those who know me and my history understand that I have had some good times, and also some really bad times when it comes to relationships. No need to go into all the details, because we have all had our share in some shape or form. I have been a heart breaker and have had my heart broken in return. Even though the pain is real and hurts every time, I still wouldn't trade any of it for all the gold in the world. Some may say I am crazy, but there is a method to my madness.
I have been blessed to meet an individual who is truly an amazing person. Never in my life did I think I could possibly get everything in a person that I have ever asked for. Someone who refuses to walk behind me or in front of me- but beside me and take on the world together. I wake up every morning constantly in fear that it is all a dream. And then like clock work I get a text or a call and on the other end is him. I have never really felt like this before, I almost don't know what to do with myself. How does he have the perfect answer to everything? How can I be silly, wear no make up, be in sweats and he still make me feel like I am the most beautiful person in the world? How can he be so forthcoming with his emotions and his intentions and reassure me that he is not like the others? Could this really be?
Never in my life did I think I could find someone, [of the opposite sex], that gets me. Someone who knows everything about me- and isn't running for the nearest exit. How could I possibly be so lucky? Slowly but surely he peels back all of my reservations, barriers, and walls, and is determined to get to my heart. He reassures me everyday that I can give him my heart and trust that he won't break it and in the same token, he is entrusting me with his- hoping that I won't do the same. In order for me to truly cherish and enjoy this amazing trip, I feel I had to experience all the bad. So would I do it all over again- the anguish, hurt, tears and pain- knowing that this was at the end of the tunnel? In two words- Hell Yes.
I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and in my heart. I am reminded every chance he gets of how special I am and how lucky he is. Little does he know, I am the lucky one. I thought I would be the one doing all the teaching and in fact, I am learning more from him than I could have ever imagined.
I know it has only been 25 days into this new year, but if I keep holding back, If I keep looking back, I will be missing out on all the good things that have yet to come. Side by side, hand in hand, I have been reassured that we are in this together. This is definitely worth the wait. There is a saying I got from one of TP's movies about the 80-20 rule. Basically it says that a person can only give you 80 percent of what you want, need and desire. That is all anyone has to offer. Someone who does all the things that you need and want in a partner. Far too often we leave our "80" for someone else thinking the grass is greener on the other side, a "20", only to learn that what we originally thought was a better choice, really wasn't. I feel I have found my 80 and I am going to do everything to hold on to this one. I have had an interesting time playing with the 20's and I am ready for that 80. I pray every woman out there gets a chance to have the feeling that I have right now.
ConverseLuv
History in the Making
Don't move, baby don't move,
Awww look at you,
I just want to take this all in.
The moonlight dancing off your skin,
Our time, Let's take our time,
I just want to look in your eyes,
and catch my breath,
Cuz I just got this feeling.
This could be, one of those memories,
The one we want to hold onto, to cling to,
One we can't forget,
Baby this could be our last first kiss,
The door to forever,
What if this was that moment,
That chance worth taking,
History in the Making.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
imagination..
... vs reality.
I came across and interesting concept today- imagination vs. reality. So easy for our minds to take us places we have never been or show us a world unknown. With the blink of an eye you can envision yourself in a place where streets are made of chocolate and lanes filled with gum drops. A place you can get everything your heart desires. But what happens when you return to reality? What happens when you come back and things that once were aren't anymore?
When I was younger I had a hell of an imagination.
In my imagination, when I was older, I would be a CEO of a major flourishing business, an artist, a free spirit that dances to the beat of my own drum. A person who loves to feel the grass and dirt between my toes. A person that is care free; someone who dances in the rain and doesn't care for rules. Someone who thinks outside the box and is living life to the fullest extent but takes time out to smell the roses.
In reality I work a dead end 9-5 and have no time for art. Dancing in the rain doesn't happen for fear of my hair getting wet and catching a cold. Rules are my life; my bible and without them I would be lost. Where I come from being care free is frowned upon and don't you dare have your own opinion. 'Round these parts, you better have your head in the game 24/7, no time for smelling roses, and you can live your life to the fullest when you're dead. And the germaphobe that I am now WOULD NEVER put my feet in the dirt!
So the big question is, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
If it were possible, I think the 5 year old me would kick the 24 year old me's butt! At what point in my life did I stop imagining things? When did dreams become distant memories and reality, like the dictator it is, come and over throw my imagination? We all know at some point we must grow up and put away childish things, but who says our imagination has to be one of them? Why must it be work, work, work all time instead of play? Why can't we have a recess every now and then, and eat dessert first sometimes?
Maybe if we let that little kid that is inside of us out every once in a while we will learn to stop being so serious all the time. We will learn to enjoy life on a daily basis instead of waiting for something monumental to happen that forces us to change our way of thinking. So, I don't know about you, but I'm getting some crayons and a coloring book on the way home. And you know what? I'm coloring OUTSIDE the lines this time around!
ConverseLuv
I came across and interesting concept today- imagination vs. reality. So easy for our minds to take us places we have never been or show us a world unknown. With the blink of an eye you can envision yourself in a place where streets are made of chocolate and lanes filled with gum drops. A place you can get everything your heart desires. But what happens when you return to reality? What happens when you come back and things that once were aren't anymore?
When I was younger I had a hell of an imagination.
In my imagination, when I was older, I would be a CEO of a major flourishing business, an artist, a free spirit that dances to the beat of my own drum. A person who loves to feel the grass and dirt between my toes. A person that is care free; someone who dances in the rain and doesn't care for rules. Someone who thinks outside the box and is living life to the fullest extent but takes time out to smell the roses.
In reality I work a dead end 9-5 and have no time for art. Dancing in the rain doesn't happen for fear of my hair getting wet and catching a cold. Rules are my life; my bible and without them I would be lost. Where I come from being care free is frowned upon and don't you dare have your own opinion. 'Round these parts, you better have your head in the game 24/7, no time for smelling roses, and you can live your life to the fullest when you're dead. And the germaphobe that I am now WOULD NEVER put my feet in the dirt!
So the big question is, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
If it were possible, I think the 5 year old me would kick the 24 year old me's butt! At what point in my life did I stop imagining things? When did dreams become distant memories and reality, like the dictator it is, come and over throw my imagination? We all know at some point we must grow up and put away childish things, but who says our imagination has to be one of them? Why must it be work, work, work all time instead of play? Why can't we have a recess every now and then, and eat dessert first sometimes?
Maybe if we let that little kid that is inside of us out every once in a while we will learn to stop being so serious all the time. We will learn to enjoy life on a daily basis instead of waiting for something monumental to happen that forces us to change our way of thinking. So, I don't know about you, but I'm getting some crayons and a coloring book on the way home. And you know what? I'm coloring OUTSIDE the lines this time around!
ConverseLuv
I wrote myself a letter
I wrote myself a letter,
I mailed it right away,
And, sure enough, the carrier,
delivered it today.
I couldn't wait to get it.
I nearly had to shout.
I quickly tore the envelope,
and pulled the letter out.
I anxiously unfolded it,
but now I must concede.
I'm clueless to what it says,
I haven't learned to read.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
all may be lost...
...but not forgotten.
I have been contemplating whether or not to discuss the tragedy that has occurred in Haiti. After sleeping on it, and discussing it with friends, I feel it needs to be addressed.
For those who have been living under a rock for the past couple days, Haiti has been hit by an earthquake. I will not produce facts or details of the situation- for that you need to do your own research. Instead I will should discuss my feelings on the matter.
First and foremost, I extend my prayers and condolences to the people of Haiti. There is nothing that I can say that will ease the pain these people must be facing right now. I can not imagine the feeling of not knowing if your loved ones are alive or having lost everything. When something like this happens it makes me take a step back and reflect of my life. We all take the simple things in life for granted. Just this past week I got into a tiff with my father over something stupid. Looking back now I feel obnoxious to know that I let something so small and minute build into anger. There are people who have lost everything they have ever had including family that they cannot get back, and I am taking things for granted. I have got to learn to choose my battles and cherish the things that matter most.
I have been contemplating whether or not to discuss the tragedy that has occurred in Haiti. After sleeping on it, and discussing it with friends, I feel it needs to be addressed.
For those who have been living under a rock for the past couple days, Haiti has been hit by an earthquake. I will not produce facts or details of the situation- for that you need to do your own research. Instead I will should discuss my feelings on the matter.
First and foremost, I extend my prayers and condolences to the people of Haiti. There is nothing that I can say that will ease the pain these people must be facing right now. I can not imagine the feeling of not knowing if your loved ones are alive or having lost everything. When something like this happens it makes me take a step back and reflect of my life. We all take the simple things in life for granted. Just this past week I got into a tiff with my father over something stupid. Looking back now I feel obnoxious to know that I let something so small and minute build into anger. There are people who have lost everything they have ever had including family that they cannot get back, and I am taking things for granted. I have got to learn to choose my battles and cherish the things that matter most.
With this tragedy comes great sadness and despair, but also hope.
Hope for the safety of family, our brothers and sisters;
Hope for the opportunity to rebuild and for regrowth;
Hope for the chance to come together for a greater cause; and
Hope to make things right this time around unlike tragedies in the past.
In times like these, we need hope and our faith to get us through. It is amazing to see people coming together during this time to offer all types of support. I've seen support as large as countries coming together- and as small as children offering up lunch money for the cause. Every little bit helps, so I ask all my followers, (all two of you lol), to please give something. Even if it is $5, every contribution can make a difference. As a disclaimer, please donate to an organization that you have heard of, and also ask how much of the proceeds actually go to the cause. It would be a shame for your donations to go in vain. Together we can make a difference.
Hope for the safety of family, our brothers and sisters;
Hope for the opportunity to rebuild and for regrowth;
Hope for the chance to come together for a greater cause; and
Hope to make things right this time around unlike tragedies in the past.
In times like these, we need hope and our faith to get us through. It is amazing to see people coming together during this time to offer all types of support. I've seen support as large as countries coming together- and as small as children offering up lunch money for the cause. Every little bit helps, so I ask all my followers, (all two of you lol), to please give something. Even if it is $5, every contribution can make a difference. As a disclaimer, please donate to an organization that you have heard of, and also ask how much of the proceeds actually go to the cause. It would be a shame for your donations to go in vain. Together we can make a difference.
ConverseLuv
Footprints in the Sand
"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed
footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other
times were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, " You promised me Lord that if I followed you, you would
walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying
periods of my life, there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me ?"
The Lord replied, " The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
nothing to fear...
but fear itself...
What is it about fear that really gets to us?? I mean all the way down to our bones? Fear is something that is contagious and deadly. It consumes us and takes over every ounce of courage. Fear is a powerful thing, but if you can learn to catch it and manifest it into something else then you can do anything that you set your mind to.
I say this because fear is what caused me to almost pass up a great opportunity. Every time I get into something that is new, I always manage to become pessimistic about the situation, find one thing that bothers me- turn the mole hill into a mountain and then run for the nearest exit. But the good thing this time is I had to face someone that would tell me exactly like it is with no sugar coating. Having this 'come to Jesus', made me realize how often I actually run out on new things just out of plain old fear. I guess sometimes we all need that little reality check in order to make us get it in gear. So for that- and you know who you are- I thank you. Best friends are definitely God's way of giving us that extra shove when we need it most.
Now that I have crossed that bridge that I feared most, I am finally at ease. What do you do after you've gotten everything that you have ever prayed for? The power of prayer is remarkable. It has always been said that, "He may not answer when you call, but he is always on time," SO TRUE. So where do we go from here? Who knows, but this time around FEAR is not an option.
ConverseLuv
What is it about fear that really gets to us?? I mean all the way down to our bones? Fear is something that is contagious and deadly. It consumes us and takes over every ounce of courage. Fear is a powerful thing, but if you can learn to catch it and manifest it into something else then you can do anything that you set your mind to.
I say this because fear is what caused me to almost pass up a great opportunity. Every time I get into something that is new, I always manage to become pessimistic about the situation, find one thing that bothers me- turn the mole hill into a mountain and then run for the nearest exit. But the good thing this time is I had to face someone that would tell me exactly like it is with no sugar coating. Having this 'come to Jesus', made me realize how often I actually run out on new things just out of plain old fear. I guess sometimes we all need that little reality check in order to make us get it in gear. So for that- and you know who you are- I thank you. Best friends are definitely God's way of giving us that extra shove when we need it most.
Now that I have crossed that bridge that I feared most, I am finally at ease. What do you do after you've gotten everything that you have ever prayed for? The power of prayer is remarkable. It has always been said that, "He may not answer when you call, but he is always on time," SO TRUE. So where do we go from here? Who knows, but this time around FEAR is not an option.
ConverseLuv
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Monday, January 11, 2010
to new beginnings....
and fairytale endings?
I really suck at keeping up with these things, but one of the things on my "Bucket list 2010" is to try something new. So here it goes...
So much has happened this year and we are just 11 days in! I am truly a blessed individual. I have an amazing family and a great group of friends. Something about the new year always puts me in a frenzy and gives me the hope and excitement that I get another chance at life. Corny I know lol, but hey its me!
Every year I compose a list of things that I would like to do before the end of the year. I like to call it my Bucket List of 2010. It's just a way for me to get out there and live life instead of getting caught up in the day to day activities. It's amazing how fast time travels when you aren't paying attention. Before you know it, life just passes you by. A close friend of mine had a tragic loss over Christmas, and while we may question why things happen, I feel there is a special balance to life that makes it unique. This showed me that life is always too short. We must learn to cherish the times that we have. Far too often we put things off for another day with the expectation that there will be one. Sometimes we need to just stay up one hour longer. dance in the rain, take the scenic route. laugh more. love more..
I feel if we really focus on what is important, there is no way you can go wrong. So far this year I was able to make a new friend, go to color me mine, and try something new that I was always scared to do. Just remember, God gives us blessings in many ways, we just have to open our eyes to see it. It has been an amazing adventure and I can't wait to see what else is in store for 2010. I have the feeling that this is going to be a great year!
ConverseLuv
I really suck at keeping up with these things, but one of the things on my "Bucket list 2010" is to try something new. So here it goes...
So much has happened this year and we are just 11 days in! I am truly a blessed individual. I have an amazing family and a great group of friends. Something about the new year always puts me in a frenzy and gives me the hope and excitement that I get another chance at life. Corny I know lol, but hey its me!
Every year I compose a list of things that I would like to do before the end of the year. I like to call it my Bucket List of 2010. It's just a way for me to get out there and live life instead of getting caught up in the day to day activities. It's amazing how fast time travels when you aren't paying attention. Before you know it, life just passes you by. A close friend of mine had a tragic loss over Christmas, and while we may question why things happen, I feel there is a special balance to life that makes it unique. This showed me that life is always too short. We must learn to cherish the times that we have. Far too often we put things off for another day with the expectation that there will be one. Sometimes we need to just stay up one hour longer. dance in the rain, take the scenic route. laugh more. love more..
I feel if we really focus on what is important, there is no way you can go wrong. So far this year I was able to make a new friend, go to color me mine, and try something new that I was always scared to do. Just remember, God gives us blessings in many ways, we just have to open our eyes to see it. It has been an amazing adventure and I can't wait to see what else is in store for 2010. I have the feeling that this is going to be a great year!
ConverseLuv
Time
is too slow for those
who wait, too swift for those who
fear, too long for those who grieve, too
short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love
time is eternity.
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